My blog is essentially an online diary where I can share the fun things I get up to – the holidays, the days out, the nice food. All a snap shot of my life that help break up the everyday routine.
I tend to keep my blog quite lighthearted and carefree but if I’m going to share significant parts of my life then they can’t all come with the happy endings.
One of the most treasured things in my life was my cat. It almost seems ridiculous how attached we get to our pets, but at the same time when they’ve been a part of your life for such a long time it’s hard to imagine life without them. Nearly 15 years ago my cat Bonnie came into my life and immediately stole a large chunk of my heart.
Mum rescued Bonnie and her brother Bertie from the Cats Protection League when I was 11. I remember telling new friends at secondary school that we had just got two kittens. They were the cutest little balls of fluff I’d ever seen.
Bonnie was a little more outgoing than Bertie. It took him slightly longer to come out of his shell and fully embrace his new family. But soon enough he too was running around like a mad thing.
After an afternoon of play-fighting, all was forgiven and they’d fall asleep in each other’s arms.
That shy, weary Bertie soon became an explorer. He would hop over the fence and nose into other people’s gardens. When he was only three years old he managed to get around to the front of the house and sadly got run over. It was devastating but the light at the end of the tunnel was that we still had Bonnie.
Bon grew into the most beautiful and friendliest cat you could ever wish to meet. People who assumed they weren’t cat people, loved her and commented on her elegant looks. She was so gentle, not a mean bone in her body.
She was like a best friend. She’d seen me go through secondary school, through Uni, leave to move in with Alan only to come back 9 months later. I wanted her a part of so much more but I guess that’s selfish of me.
I imagined her around on my wedding day. I’d have to pick her up and give her a cuddle, whilst mum would be telling me off for potentially ruining my dress. We’d already discussed the fact she wouldn’t come as we both knew she’d upstage me.
I was in two minds about publishing this post. Grieving is such a private thing but I wanted people to know how much Bon meant to me. I miss her so so much.
There are a million and one things I will miss about you Bonnie but here are just a handful:
I will miss being able to give you a hundred kisses a day – even when you didn’t really want one. It just made it extra cute when you bowed your head to let me.
I will miss the little milk chin you’d get when you drank a bowl of milk.
I will miss how happy you were when the whole family arrived home and you’d come to greet us at the door.
I will miss being able to confide in you, being able to tell you my biggest secrets, knowing you’d keep them safe.
I will miss how you would always find a way of getting on my lap. You especially enjoyed taking my attention away from the laptop.
I will miss that even though we bought you plenty of toys, your favourite thing to play with was one of the potpourri balls.
That said potpourri ball provided not just you with entertainment but also us, when you learnt to play tennis with it. Albeit an incredibly lazy version.
I will miss our little conversations where I’d meow and you would meow back – I like to think we both understood each other.
I will miss the fact that you weren’t your average cat. You had your independence and occasionally sassy attitude, but you liked nothing more than to be where the whole family was.
I will miss seeing you every morning cuddled up next to Dad, in Mum and Dad’s bedroom – or better yet, lying on top of his hip making it impossible for him to move.
I will miss walking into the living room and seeing you slumped out across the radiator.
I will miss listening out for your paws across the floorboards – they’d make a tip-tap noise that we all said made it sound as though you were just in your high heels.
I will miss seeing you playing at the end of the garden and when we’d call your name you’d come running with your little belly swinging.
I will miss simply watching you sleep. The little noises you’d make when you were dreaming.
I will miss seeing that little beauty spot on the end of your nose. When that appeared we all agreed it was your body’s way of struggling to contain how beautiful you were.
I won’t miss the panic when we couldn’t find you, but I will miss the relief of eventually finding you in the most obscure places.
I will miss your cravings to be human. We’d all be sat around the table for dinner and you’d jump up into one of the seats and wait patiently for your portion.
I will miss when you’d come to my bedroom in the middle of the night and poke my face with your paw to wake me up.
I will miss how you’d hate the outdoors at winter, but as soon as we were all out there in the summer, you’d be rolling around in the sunshine.
But most of all I will miss knowing you’ll be there when I get home and I can scoop you up in my arms, and in that moment nothing else matters. You received a lot of love, but you returned it tenfold.
You were the best companion and the house now feels completely bare without your presence. I know in time it’ll get easier but at the moment it feels really, really hard.
I love you Bon xxx